On Singleness, Studying and Trust.

So, I am new to the whole blogger life, so here it goes! Some of you may be asking, why are you going along with this fad of writing down your thoughts and musings for the world to see? Well, that is an EXCELLENT question. I decided to start writing on a blog 1) For kicks and giggles 2) Cause Rambling on a blog sounded quite interesting 3) Because I find authentic bloggers to be quite fascinating and interesting and I decided I wanted to be cool like them. In all seriousness though, I hope that my ramblings help other poor 20 somethings who are figuring out their life to find some solace in the knowledge that they aren't the only ones who are figuring life out.

So, when I was a young undergrad, I had an amazing plan for my life. Seriously, it was flawless. I was gonna meet Mr. Right when I was a sophomore (because lets face it, those freshman relationships don't usually last and who has time for that?) then we were gonna get real serious my junior year, and then I would get my "ring by spring" and get married right after graduation. Flawless. Perfect. Amazing. Right? 

Wrong, as my years in undergrad came to an end I realized that I was no way near ready to be a wife and mother. Don't get me wrong, I think young marriages are awesome. But, I also knew that being married in today's society is rough. So, I was totally cool with taking a year off to do mission work and then the Lord would show me my future spouse! 

Again, perfect plan! Except here's the thing with my perfect plan, I hadn't consulted the Lord about it. I am a pretty stubborn woman so the Lord had to break in and shake my world upside down. Through a series of events that I will delve into at a later time the Lord made it clear to me that I NEEDED him. That His plan was the ONLY thing that would bring me happiness and I needed to stop asking him to bless my plans and ask approval and start asking him to take over the Driver's seat to my life. 

Not gonna lie, letting go of the perfect plan to meet Mr. Right and get married and have lots of babies all before age 22 was pretty scary stuff. 

I am currently turning 24 and have never been in a serious relationship. Coming from an Alma Mater like Franciscan, that generally makes me feel like an old maid. Watching my classmates find their soulmates and have tons of adorable babies still makes me turn to the Lord and say "hey God, you wanna send me the memo?" However, each time I turn to the Lord and ask him to guide me, he truly does give me the desires of my heart. 

Even though I have never been kissed, been in a serious relationship or had any of that romantic stuff going on in my life; I have not missed out on the adventure that the Lord has put me on. 

You see, I could be bitter that I am almost 24 and still single. But, that would be a waste of my time. Because I decided to trust the Lord and not grasp after a half hearted relationship based of my need for a husband- He has led me to some amazing experiences that have formed my heart and made me realize how amazing the Lord's plan for my life is. 

I used to hate the verse "Delight in the Lord and he will grant you the desires of your heart." Because I always felt gipped.  I felt like the Lord was this vending machine that was rejecting my wrinkled delight dollar and accepting everyone else's. What was wrong with my delight? Was it too wrinkled? Did I need to add a couple cents? Why were my desires not being fulfilled?! Was the Lord not good?

The problem was not with my wrinkled delight dollar, the problem was that the Lord is NOT a vending machine. He is a person who desires to have an intimate, wholehearted relationship with me! He wants to take me on this romantic grand adventure of life that requires my trust. I have found that the more I delight in the Lord, the more the desire of my heart is for Him, not for some awesome guy who will put a ring on my finger by the springtime. 

So, practically this means that trusting the Lord will lead you to great and amazing things that at first may scare you but will fill your heart with deep peace. Because, I decided to let go of my MRS degree plans, the Lord took me to amazing places (Belgium, Austria, Ireland...) and he showed me who I am in His eyes. This also meant that he led me to grad school. Even though, I really hate the whole studying thing (student+dying=studying. enough said.) The past year has been full of blessings that I could never have imagined when I left mission work in the oh so amazing Emerald Isle to sit at a desk for HOURS and read and write. The Lord is making me into a woman into his own heart and He can only do that if I let him by letting go of my plans and letting him sweep me into the grand adventure of His plan. 

Basically, the moral of my blog story for the day is. Trust in the Lord, even if you have to live the life of a single, poor missionary or student for a while. Because, the Lord is starting a good work in you and will bring it to completion if you let him. 

 Keep Calm and Trust in the Lord. AMDG